


Know Your Worth

by mesie



Series: A series of Fix-Its [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Finn Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Finn/Rey friendship, Fix-It, Fluff, M/M, POV Finn (Star Wars), Shara Bey's Ring, cause they wasted an opportunity of poe giving it to finn, space boys being in love, uhhh what else, why is star wars in brackets after that lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22837633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mesie/pseuds/mesie
Summary: "She wanted me to give this to someone special, if I ever found them.”
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: A series of Fix-Its [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1640953
Comments: 12
Kudos: 159





	Know Your Worth

**Author's Note:**

> well, my brain is fried. this started out as one thing but I added more things and then it escalated and tbh this is probably a mess. but I wanted to write about shara bey's ring since SOMEBODY *eyes sw writers* decided to introduce it but then do nothing with it. so anyways, enjoy!

Finn adjusted the strap of his holster, ensuring that the leather was firmly wrapped around his thigh. He felt his nerves bubble underneath his skin, and he let out a harsh breath instead of a scream. He can’t break down now, not in front of his people. He was a General now. Well, co-General, but the title still had significance. The thought of it made him smile. A year ago, he didn’t even have a name, an identity, anything, except for the dreaded string of figures, FN-2187. Now he stood beside Poe Dameron, leading the Resistance.

Despite the warm feeling it gave him, the mirth of his promotion was outweighed over his worry for Rey. He had never seen her like that before, so full of anger and hatred and pain, and when she pushed him back like that…

Finn holstered his blaster after checking its condition and taking stock of his ammo, and promptly exited his bedroom in search of Poe and BB-8. He wished everyone he passed good luck, either in the form of a curt nod or a reassuring smile.

He found Poe outside, clad in his pilot’s uniform and crouching down to listen to BB-8. The droid was beeping wildly, and every now and then Poe nodded. One thing about Poe that Finn appreciated was that he always kneeled down to talk to BB-8, or any droid that was smaller than him. It was a small gesture, but at the same time it wasn’t, for some people treated droids like they were beneath them because they had a circuit board instead of a beating heart. But Poe always made his companion know that they were his equal.

Finn didn’t realise he had stopped to gaze at the image before him until BB-8 swivelled his head in his direction and let out a high-pitched squeal. Immediately, the droid bolted towards him, leaving a confused Poe in his wake. When the pilot realised the reason behind BB-8’s excitement, he broke into his own blinding smile and rose to follow his trail.

“[Friend-Finn! Friend-Finn!]” BB-8 chanted, barrelling into Finn when he kneeled to greet him, causing him to be pushed back. Finn let out a grunt, but still smiled in greeting.

“Hey BB-8.”

“BB-8 wants to go with you.” Poe dramatically sighed when he finally caught up with the pair, feigning a look of hurt.

“Really?” Finn grinned.

“It seems he’s outgrown me.” BB-8 let out a low whir, and rolled over to Poe’s feet to gently bump his head against his shins. Poe laughed, reaching down to pat BB-8’s head.

“I’m just kidding, buddy. I know I’m your favourite.”

“Are you sure about that?” Finn said.

“Uh, yeah?”

“What about Rey?” Finn teased, before his smile dropped.

Poe shared a similar look of discomfort, before placing his hands on Finn’s arms to comfort him. “Hey, Rey will be OK. She’s the best there is.”

Finn knew this. Rey would be the first person he would go to in any sign of danger – he decided that when she brutally beat those scavengers back on Jakku for trying to take BB-8 – but he was still worried. She was still alive, and she was still angry, but now she felt something else; grief. 

He cracked a smile and nodded, before asking, “Who’s going with you then?”

A look of concealed panic crossed Poe’s face briefly. “Uh…”

Amused, Finn lifted an eyebrow, pursing his lips to keep from laughing. The General of the Resistance, who was able to help plan one of the biggest and most significant battles of the galaxy, was floundering at a lack of an Astromech Droid.

Poe seemed to have come to a decision, for his eyes combed the area before landing on the droid that was residing with Chewie. “Hey R2!”

R2-D2 turned his head and beeped.

“Want to be my co-pilot?”

“[Sure.]” He beeped once more and continued his conversation with Chewie.

Poe shrugged nonchalantly. “I’ve got it sorted.”

Around them, ships roared to life and settled to a purr, sending Finn’s nerves off again. The noise of the Resistance, which had been merely a hum beforehand, became louder as everyone scurried to their respective aircrafts. Distantly, Finn heard the startled noises of the Orbaks as the ship doors closed on them. The increase in activity meant one thing; they had to leave.

Finn pulled Poe into a hug, gripping him forcefully. He took in his sweet scent, familiarising himself with everything that was Poe: how he was a few inches shorter than Finn, how his soft curls engulfed his face every time they hugged, how his strong arms were holding him just as fiercely.

“I’m sorry to break this up but Finn! We have to go!” Jannah shouted from the entrance to their ship, and Poe pulled back slightly to press his lips against Finn’s in a chaste but firm kiss, both hands still wrapped around Finn to pull him closer. Finn disentangled one arm from where both lay on Poe’s back to cup his cheek, and felt the faint beginnings of Poe’s stubble.

They broke apart, before hugging again briefly. “I love you.” Poe murmured into his neck.

“I love you, too.” Finn whispered back and went to leave Poe’s embrace, when the pilot jolted suddenly, reaching out to grab Finn’s shoulder.

“Wait! Wait, I almost forgot! Sorry, Jannah, just a moment!”

Jannah rolled her eyes. “Palpatine will win before the two of you say goodbye!”

Jess, who had been walking past to her own aircraft with her helmet glued to her hip, paused to snort loudly. “Be glad you weren’t here before they got together.”

“How bad was it?”

“They were insufferable.”

The women laughed while the victims of their teasing bent their heads sheepishly, embarrassed.

Poe gingerly untucked a ring from where it lay underneath his shirt. He gazed at it fondly, before kissing it and pulling the chain from around his neck. 

“I want you to have this.” He placed the ring into Finn’s open palm and motioned to close it before Finn jerked his hand back.

“Poe, I-I can’t take this, this is your-”

“I know, I know,” Poe interjected, smiling at him softly. “But she wanted me to give this to someone special, if I ever found them.”

At a loss of words, Finn stared at Poe, before looking at the piece of jewellery still in the palm of his hand.

He closed his hand over the metal and gave it a little squeeze, feeling the chain bite into his skin. This was real. Poe trusted him with his mother’s wedding ring, which was something that meant one thousand I love you’s, because it never left Poe’s form. The chain was always visible, looped around his neck and laying on Poe’s collarbones casually, but Finn knew that the object that dangled from it was very important.

He first saw the ring not too long after the Battle of Crait.

____________

What was left of the Resistance set up base on Ajan Kloss and wasted no time in making a list of who among them had passed and whose family members they had to tell. The list had been long. So long that a heavy silence had enveloped the room. Finn saw Poe press his lips into a thin line and clench his jaw and knew that the pilot felt responsible. Delicately, he had put a hand on his arm and squeezed to, in some way, reassure him that he was there.

Among that list had been Luke Skywalker and Han Solo. Finn had glanced at Leia when she spoke their names aloud to be written down, but she didn’t falter. But her eyes betrayed her; they were old and tired. Finn imagined that there was once a spark there, and hoped that, one day, that spark would be reignited.

After the meeting, all he wanted to do was collapse in his bed and sleep for the rest of the day, but he had promised to help Rey set up her obstacle course. 

In the end he was glad, because the fresh air cleared his head and he was with Rey, Poe, Rose, BB-8 and Chewie; his friends. What started out as an afternoon heavy with fatigue and tension soon turned into one that was light-hearted and fun. They laughed when someone messed up and teased one another when there was a bout of frustration. Gradually, Finn felt the weight leave his shoulders.

Later, while BB-8 accompanied Rey as she tried out her obstacle course, the rest of them resided on a little cliff overlooking the Jedi and the droid. The sun was beginning to set, but the warmth it provided still lingered, and Finn started to feel tired. Rose and Chewie had passed out not too long ago and were now sleeping soundly against a tree, with Rose using his arm as a pillow. She snored softly, looking the most peaceful Finn had seen her since they met. The same could be said for Chewie, who let out grunting noises every now and then. According to Rey, his sleep pattern had been all over the place since Solo died, so Finn was glad he was going to sleep at a reasonable time.

Poe was not far from sleep either. He lay back with his hands locked behind his head. His eyes were closed, and his features were soft and relaxed. His curls blew slightly in the breeze – causing Finn to pick at the coarse grass to dull the desire of running his fingers through them – and his long eyelashes were fluttering against his cheeks. 

Poe was handsome – there was no denying that – but the little details made him even more so. 

Poe shifted to reach under the neckline of his shirt, and produced a ring attached to a chain. He started to fiddle with it and smiled a small smile, looking reminiscent.

“What’s that?” What the kriff do you mean, what’s that? It’s kinda obvious, you idiot.

Poe opened one eye to squint at him.

“Uh, I-I.” Finn stuttered, feeling heat rush to his cheeks. “I mean, the ring, I’ve never seen it before.”

Poe glanced down at it, his smile turning into a smirk.

“You’re not very observant. I was wearing this after you woke up.” He teased.

“Well waking up from a coma after being skewed by a lightsaber, then almost being executed, then battling the First Order in run down piles of junk would do that to you.” Finn replied, shrugging nonchalantly.

Poe pondered it for a moment, before offering his own shrug. “Fair enough.”

He lifted his head to take the ring off and gave it to Finn. “It’s my mother’s wedding ring. She died when I was 8. I keep it to… remind me of her, among other things.”

Finn inspected it silently, taking in Poe’s words. “Who was she?”

Poe smiled brightly, before flopping his head back and gazing at the sky. “Shara Bey. She was an A-wing pilot and flew with Green Squadron during the Battle of Endor.”

It was clear from the look on his face that Poe idolised her.

Taking one last look at the silver metal, a little worn from age, but still beautiful, Finn handed the ring back to Poe. “I’m sorry she died.”

Poe was silent for a moment. “She would’ve liked you.”

“You think?”

“A man brave enough to defy the First Order and live to tell the tale and who cares deeply for his friends? She would have loved you.”

____________

Gingerly, Finn put the silver chain around his neck and placed the ring under his shirt. Poe grasped the back of his neck to bring their foreheads together, neither saying a word. Then, Finn slipped from Poe’s embrace and ran to meet Jannah with BB-8 hot at his heels. As the ship door closed, he locked eyes with Poe, who offered him a reassuring smile. Then, he was basked in darkness, except for the low light emitting from inside the ship.

“You guys are so cute.” Jannah gushed. “How long have you been together?”

“Uh.” Finn started. “About 12 hours?”

Jannah raised her eyebrows. “Oh.”

“Yeah. We should probably go on a date.” That is, if they both survived.

____________

For Finn, the chances of survival right now were about slim to none. Underneath him and Jannah, where they were desperately scrambling to hold onto a First Order ship, was a blaze of explosions that burned so bright and big that they enveloped everything else. Debris flew past them, bits of it spraying the stray passengers, and the ship rocked every now and then when it collided violently with another one. 

A small part of Finn knew when he hatched his last-minute plan that he wasn’t going to come back from it. He only met Jannah a few hours ago, but he knew she wasn’t stupid; she suspected it too.

It didn’t mean that he was any less guilty that she was here now.

He took Jannah’s hand and held it tight. “We need to hold on until someone comes for us!”

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen, Finn!” Jannah yelled back.

“Trust me! I’m kinda a big deal in the Resistance, remember?”

Later, a part of Finn would wonder if it was his momentary cockiness that caused him to fall - karma had its moments, after all - but the more logical reason was him losing his grip when the ship rocked again. Fear swept through him, and he cried out.

If Jannah hadn’t caught him, he would have spent his last moments thinking about his family and his friends and their bravery. He was lucky to have found them, and he hoped they felt the same when it came to him. He was scared for Rey, and Poe, and Rose, and Chewie, and Jannah, and just about everybody. He would have spent his last moments wishing their survival and a peaceful and happy future, if Jannah hadn’t caught him.

But Jannah did. By his ankle.

Hanging upside down from a First Order ship was not how he planned this day would go, but he would take it.

Before he realised what was happening, Finn felt the ring fall from where he had secured it under his shirt. Panicked, he scrambled to grab hold of it, but it was too late. The chain unravelled from his neck, and Shara Bey’s ring fell.

“No!” Finn screamed, trying one last time to grab hold of the chain. He reached out so hard and fast that his muscles strained, but his attempts were in vain. Finn felt time slow; the ring fell towards the chaos underneath to be swallowed by the flames and the rubble, never to be seen again, until it stopped.

Along with bits of debris, it was suspended in the air in a shaky mess, as if the invisible hold on it was extremely fragile. A wave of shock passed over Finn, and he faintly registered the tears that welled and the few that dropped.

“Finn! Get up!” Jannah grunted, her nails now digging into his flesh. The ship suffered another blow and rocked back and forth. Jannah let out a yell of pain. If they made it out alive, Finn would spend the rest of his life thanking her.

He reached out even more, focusing intently on the ring, willing it to come back to him. He felt a surge of energy run through his entire body to his fingertips, and the ring shot back into his palm while the bits of debris fell. He gripped it tight, before putting the chain in his mouth and biting down hard, ignoring the bitter taste of metal. He grunted as he hoisted himself up and grabbed onto an indent in the ship. Jannah let go of his ankle in favour of gripping his free arm.

Finn pocketed the ring and exhaled loudly, then let out a big whoop when the Falcon came into view. Beside him, Jannah joined him in his celebration.

____________

Finn sat on his bed, idly turning the ring over and over again in his grasp. He wore a royal blue that was given to him and made from fabric that was smooth and silky. Finn prided himself in being a quick learner, so it didn’t take him long to do his tie from his brief lessons with Poe. He felt a wave of giddiness upon seeing the outfit he would be wearing when celebrating the end of the First Order. Although the suit was picked out for Finn, and wasn’t something he would usually wear, he still liked it. He also looked good in it, so there was that. 

Although it had only been a day since the fall of the Order, the Resistance decided to throw a party to celebrate their win, but also honour those who were lost.

This wasn’t the first party he would be going to: there was Prime Minister Grist’s party, and the numerous birthdays over the past year. He knew what a birthday was growing up in the First Order; it was a date that celebrated when someone was born, but his knowledge ended there. No one talked about the event, and they certainly didn’t celebrate it for fear of being severely punished for acting outside of protocol. And even if they weren’t, it didn’t matter. No Stormtrooper actually knew when their birthday was.

As a child, Finn used to play a game he invented to humour himself, where every time he changed in any way, he gained a year: when he got taller, when his hair got a little longer before it was shaved again, when his voice deepened, or when a new scar appeared as a result of training. By the time he left the Order, he was 78 years old. When he tried to share his game with other ‘troopers, they were quick to shut the conversation down and avoid him because he was different. Apart from Slip; he was the only one that indulged him.

But now, he could celebrate his birthday on any day he picked, surrounded by his family. And if he got any presents, well, that was just a bonus.

His attention went back to the ring, and he gazed at it, conflicted, watching the light reflect against its surface. Weirdly, it made it seem even more fragile and significant than before. It felt bizarre that this piece of jewellery was once on the ring finger of Poe’s mother. From what he was told, by Poe and many admirers, she was a fierce and loving woman, a brilliant pilot, and an exceptional mother and wife. She never shied away from danger and protected those she loved the most. She reminded him of Poe.

She wanted me to give this to someone special, if I ever found them. Was that really Finn? Did Poe love him so much, trust him so much, that he believed he was worthy of one of the few things he had left of his mother?

It didn’t matter now. He knew now that he didn’t deserve it. Poe would understand. Then again, he looked so happy, albeit nervous, when he gave it to him. Finn didn’t want to put a damper on that. But he couldn’t keep going on knowing that he could lose it for real if he wasn’t careful. It would end in tears from Poe, and if he were being selfish, from himself as well. Because a part of him worried that Poe would never forgive him for losing his mother’s wedding ring. Finn had lost a lot; he didn’t want to lose him too.

A knock on his door jolted him out of his thoughts, and he put the ring in his pocket before jumping up to let Poe in. They had arranged to meet at Finn’s room, but he wasn’t surprised that a little orange and white droid was at his heels, but the crown of roses, did. For such a short amount of time to plan, the Resistance really went all out to make sure everyone had an outfit of some kind.

Poe was staring at him, mouth slightly agape, before he cleared his throat.

“Wow.” was all he managed, and it made Finn smile.

“Could say the same for you.” Finn replied, because Poe’s burgundy suit fit him in all the right places and complimented his features well.

Poe flushed, but quickly regained his composure to extend his hand to Finn. 

“You ready?” he asked, grinning brightly, and Finn noticed that his arm was no longer in a sling. His wound must have fully healed from the bacta gel.

“Yeah, but…” Finn trailed off, remembering his previous troubles, and Poe’s grin faded.

“I need to talk to you.”

Immediately, Poe sensed that the “talk” Finn was referring to was going to be serious, as he bent down to BB-8’s level. The droid beeped at him curiously.

“Why don’t you go find D-O? He’s with Rey, right? We’ll meet you there, OK buddy?”

Finn felt the tension in him ease a little at hearing Rey’s name. He was beyond happy that she was alive and attending the party as well, because when she died, he felt a part of himself die too. It had hit him like a ton of bricks and left him breathless for a few seconds. It was a horrible feeling, one that he didn’t want to feel ever again.

BB-8 alternated between looking at Finn and looking at Poe for a few seconds.

“[Ok, but don’t be long.]” he replied, giving them what Finn knew was the droid equivalent of a side-eye, obviously suspicious. He offered them a quick goodbye, and then zoomed down the hallway in search for his new friend.

Finn led Poe into his room and closed the door.

“I can’t have this.” Finn said, retrieving the ring from his pocket, feeling like the metal was burning his skin to remind him that he wasn’t worthy of it.

“Wha-“ Poe began, but was interrupted by Finn placing the ring in the palm of his hand. Finn took a step back, crossing his arms to shield himself, looking anywhere else but at Poe. The man himself stood in shock, glancing down to where the ring still lay.

“Oh.” Poe replied slowly, and his nonchalance irked Finn for some reason. Seconds passed in utter silence, with Poe staring at the ring as if it were foreign to him and Finn nervously drumming his fingers against his arm. The tension was thick, and Finn felt like he was suffocating.

Finally, Poe looked at Finn, and his dark eyes pierced him; they were sad, but also confused. Finn felt his resolve breaking. “Did I do something wrong?”

Finn was slightly taken aback. He expected anger from Poe, or at least some frustration, but this was unexpected. “What? No! You – Poe… you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then what is it? I mean, I know it’s not very shiny or anything but-” Poe tried to crack a joke, but this just made Finn more uneasy.

“No, it’s.” He sighed. “It’s beautiful.”

Something seemed to click inside Poe’s head, because his eyes narrowed as if he were analysing him. “What happened yesterday?”

In the end, nothing ever really got past Poe. Finn inhaled deeply; he might as well say it. “I almost lost it.”

Finn watched as Poe’s eyes widened slightly and felt the door close on their relationship. 

“I-It just- I tried to grab it but it fell anyway. The only reason you have it right now is because of the Force. If I didn’t have it…” Finn trailed off, not even wanting to finish his sentence because the thought hurt too much.

Poe was silent.

Finn’s face crumpled. “I’m sorry.” His voice cracked, and the tears started.

Poe seemed to snap out of his stupor. “Wait Finn, don’t cry!”

Hastily, he discarded the ring on the bed to hug Finn, who held Poe tightly and buried his face in the crook of his neck. The feeling of selfishness creeped up his spine. He shouldn’t be the one blubbering like a baby, but he couldn’t help it.

“I’m sorry.” Finn repeated, the sound of it muffled.

“It’s ok.” Poe murmured, lightly stroking Finn’s back.

“It’s not - Poe - it’s your mother’s ring-”

“And I’ve lost it before. Just ask BB-8, he’s ready to kill me because most of the time he’s the one who’s found it.”

He didn’t know if Poe was lying or not to make him feel at ease, but the pilot continued anyway. “I’m not angry. Besides, it’s not like you just chucked it. Would it be fair to say it was an accident?”

Begrudgingly, Finn nodded. “But it still happened. Clearly I don’t deserve it if I can easily lose it.”

Poe pulled back, wiping the tears from Finn’s cheeks, and chuckled. “You think you don’t deserve it?”

He didn’t answer. Poe exhaled loudly, and he felt the breeze of it across his face. It was oddly comforting.

“Finn, you are without a doubt the best and bravest man I have ever known. You escaped from the kriffing First Order! With an injured pilot on your side and nothing else. It could have easily gone to hell, but you took that risk anyway. You’ve saved me and Rey and so many more. You helped save the galaxy! And if you were to lose that ring, I know you would try your hardest to get it back. That’s how I know you deserve it.”

Finn felt a few more tears escape, and Poe once again wiped them away. “I shouldn’t have given it to you, considering the circumstances. That was selfish of me, I’m sorry.”

The selfish feeling was now replaced by one of warmth. Poe would never lie to him, so if he believed that he was all of those things he just listed, then there must be some truth to it. He has saved so many, and he would do his damned best to retrieve that ring.

He took his time processing the rest of what Poe said. “So why did you?”

Poe hesitated. “I was scared.”

“You were scared?”

Poe gave him a small smile. “I was scared that… that I would die and… you wouldn’t have anything to remember me by. But that doesn’t matter, I shouldn’t have put pressure on you to accept it.”

“You didn’t.” Finn assured. “And to be fair, I would’ve done the same.”

“So both of us are a big, fat mess?”

“Seems like it.”

Both men chuckled, before Poe cleared his throat. “Listen, if you don’t want it-”

“I do.” Finn interrupted, confident in his answer. There was no big battle ahead of them, no near-death experiences; it was just them, alone together. “But I don’t want to lose it. It means too much.”

“Then how about we compromise? You wear it, but not on any missions.”

He contemplated it. It was a simple solution that Finn should have come up with, and he felt a flush of embarrassment overtake him. “I can deal with that.”

He took the ring from the bed and put it on. It no longer felt like a weight pressing uncomfortably on his chest. It belonged there. 

“You know, we haven’t gone on a date yet.” Finn said to change the subject, but also because the truth of it was a little embarrassing since they had exchanged ‘I love you’s’ and Finn currently wore Poe’s mother’s wedding ring.

“The party could be our first date.” Poe suggested.

“With all of our friends? I’ll pass, I want some privacy.”

A teasing spark lit up Poe’s eyes. “For what?” 

“Shut up.” Finn smiled and kissed him.

“But really, you’re good?” Poe asked after they separated, lovingly stroking Finn’s arms.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Finn smiled warmly.

Poe grinned. “Ok, well. If that’s that then…”

He bowed in an exaggerated manner, offering Finn his hand. “General Finn of the Resistance, would you accompany me to the party that is being held in celebration of defeating the First Order and saving the galaxy?”

“General Poe of the Resistance, I would love to accompany you to the party that is being held in celebration of defeating the First Order and saving the galaxy.” Finn replied, chuckling. He took Poe’s hand to entangle their fingers, and they set off for the party.

It was silent for a moment, until-

“Wait a second, you used the Force?!”

Finn’s laughter rang throughout the base.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is appreciated! also, I have not read resistance reborn, so if I have got any facts or terminology wrong, please tell me!


End file.
